


Punny

by prettycheese21



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Puns, Clint is a sucker for a good pun, Gen, Hulk Makes an Appearance, Humor, Natasha's Sass is the best kind, Steve is sick of Tony's crap, Tony Being Tony, or at least some humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 21:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3396407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettycheese21/pseuds/prettycheese21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce doesn't like puns and Tony won't let it go.<br/>Dangerous, yet hilarious, consequences ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Punny

**Author's Note:**

> So here's a thing.  
> I spent about twenty minutes picking out puns, and I must say that I'm very proud of the results.  
> So read and enjoy.  
> Leave a kudos if you'd like!

   It all started after a particularly tough mission.  
   
   It was an all hands on deck situation, requiring everyone to help out. The mission ended successfully, but it took them a full night to diffuse it. Not to mention all the injuries that were sustained in the process. The highlight being Natasha's. She had somehow managed to fall out of her lookout spot in a tree after the mission was over, leading to a severely sprained ankle for Natasha and a possible bruised or broken rib to the poor agent used as her landing cushion. This left the after mission mood tired and slightly somber instead of it's usual excited buzz.  
   
   Tony and Steve were put on crutch duty, taking each of her arms so she could limp farther than two feet. The others walked tiredly behind them, looking ready to keel over at any moment. Tony had observed this and thought of an idea to lift the mood.  
   
   He stated for the whole team to hear, "We're bicycles."  
   
   Steve looked over the top of Natasha's head at Tony, and oh-so-eloquently replied, "What?"  
   
   "We're bicycles. We can't stand on our own because we're two-tired," Tony explained.  
   
   Clint burst out laughing hysterically, causing Thor to look at him with confusion and concern, "Are you alright?"  
   
   "I can't...!" Clint continued to laugh.  
   
   Natasha shook her head as she continued to limp forward, "That was the stupidest thing I have ever heard."  
   
   "That's the point isn't it?" Steve asked.  
   
   "You haven't commented yet, Brucie," Tony said.  
   
   "That's because I don't like puns," Bruce responded.  
   
   In hindsight, Bruce should not have told him that. The situation would have probably been avoided if he hadn't.

   The events that followed were dangerously hilarious.

   Tony began following Bruce everywhere he went, coming up with the most ridiculous puns he could think of. At first, Bruce would just get annoyed and roll his eyes, but after the third day of Tony's "Pun-a-thon" he began to get more than annoyed. He started to get extremely irritated. This became apparent one day over team breakfast.  
   
   Tony had reached over the table, grabbed a piece of toast, and began buttering it. While doing so, he asked, "Did you hear about that bakery that burned down? Their business is toast now."  
   
   This caused Bruce to violently slam his utensils down against the table, causing everyone to jump slightly. After a few deep breaths, he pushed out from the table and left the kitchen, leaving a giggling Tony in his wake. Of course, this earned him a dirty look from Steve and Natasha, but he didn't seem to care.  
   
   After that, Bruce never came to any team gatherings unless they were absolutely mandatory. This alleviated some of the tension between the two, since they stopped regularly interacting. That is, until Tony caught on to his tricks and went down to his lab, where he was sure Bruce would be.  
   
   And that's where Tony found him, looking through his microscope and furiously scribbling down notes. A smirk formed on Tony's face as he asked, "What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?"  
   
   Bruce sighed, "Tony. Leave me alone. I don't know how many times I've told y-"  
   
   "A tire," Tony answered.  
   
   He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to quell his anger, before once again writing down some notes, "Please stop."  
   
   "I don't trust acupuncturists. They're back stabbers."  
   
   That's when the pencil broke and Bruce's eye began to twitch. These should have been very clear warning signs. These should have told Tony to stop, but of course they did not.  
   
   And Tony was far from done. He'd stayed up for hours looking up tons of useless puns, "You know, Bruce, writing with a broken pencil is pointless."  
   
   That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Vibrant green made it's way into Bruce's eyes as the sound of ripping clothes filled the air. Tony's stomach dropped as his eyes widened. It was then he knew just how screwed he was.  
   
* Time Skip *  
   
   "Tony, I can't... I just can't believe... I can't," Steve said for the umpteenth time since arriving in medical wing of SHIELD.  
   
   "Steve, what did you expect?" Natasha asked, "He's Tony. He's naturally stupid."  
   
   "I can hear you!" Tony's shouts were muffled by the mask on his face.  
   
   "Quit talking and enjoy your oxygen while you still can, because once you're better, we're going to kick your ass!"  
   
   "What the hell were you thinking, Tony?" Steve asked exasperatedly.  
   
   "He wasn't," Clint quipped.  
   
   "Hardy har har. Enjoy a laugh at the injured person's expense," Tony said dramatically, "I mean, it's not like I'm going to be able to go anywhere for a while," he finished, gesturing the left side of his body, which included a casted arm and leg.  
   
   "If it makes you feel any better, Bruce feels bad about it," Clint told him.  
   
   "Clint, don't lie to him," Natasha teasingly scolded, "His ego's taken enough of a beating, we don't need to continue it."  
   
   "I hate you all," Tony groaned.  
   
   This was going to make for a long recovery.


End file.
